ODUFA

This book is dedicated to every strong woman out there; every woman who is going through any form of abuse, physical, mental, emotional, or verbal abuse.

To every woman who is courageous enough to define her happiness;

every woman who dares to walk away from gender-based abuse when it matters most.

Odufa celebrates the strength and resilience of African women and the unique problems they encounter in their marriages, stemming from social, family, and personal pressures.

It highlights the devastating consequences of patriarchy which dominates African society where women are stereotyped as feeble creatures with a sacrificial nature. Patriarchy results in married women being forced to bury their dreams and ambitions in the hope of achieving a successful marriage. And when despite their efforts, the marriage fails, they slide into melancholy. Ultimately, many can pull themselves out of the recesses of depression to re-discover themselves and regain their self-esteem through the pain of constantly questioning their self-worth and yearning for fulfillment.

The book also shows women putting undue pressure on themselves to please their husbands, children and society, despite their suffering, which sees them crying behind the stoic smiles that hide the burden of exclusive responsibility for the success of their marriage; lonely women overwhelmed by the shame of failure; unhappy women abandoned to the chores of housekeeping and caregiving; neglected women, clinging to the hope of a miracle to re-ignite the passion of their once vibrant love; desperate women

pining for the touch of a spouse turned stranger, a lover turned enemy who though physically present in the home, quit the marriage a long time ago; hurting women smarting from the trauma of physical or emotional abuse; women disillusioned by the realization that "happily ever after" was never a part of their marriage contract.

Everyone ponders at some point in their journey to the fantasy land of love if the man or woman they are in love with truly reciprocates the same level of affection for them. At other times, we may not even be able to tell if we love the other person we think we love.

So, what is the true definition of love? Do our experiences, environments, societies, and families form the love part of us as individuals? Do they define our beings? Should there be a limit to the influence of these natural influencers, especially when it comes to matters of life?

Are our desires and dreams of being truly loved and treated humanely mere fairy tales? Is that where we often find ourselves in the land of marital pain and agony, and sometimes death when we should be getting love?

What should happen when love begins to get sour? When should the impacted party call it quits in an oppressive marriage? Or, are marriages for dying?

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