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36 b
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Once upon a time, there was a princess locked in a tower, guarded by an obnoxiously attractive dragon with a superiority complex.
Her crime, you may ask?
A single, topless, crowd-surfing incident. Which was photographed, published by multiple news outlets, and "jeopardized" her father's high profile election campaign.
Faced with the threat of being cut off-and forced to rely on her non-existent life skills-the princess had little choice but to accept her punishment: house arrest at the family estate for the duration of the campaign.
A campaign which will last eight. Freaking. Months.
As if all this wasn't terrible enough, the princess's only company-the dragon-was even more unpleasant than the punishment itself. He hated her at first sight; most likely for the crime of being pretty, and rich, and way better than him at literally everything.
Mean, condescending, and a total turd, the dragon seemed to want nothing more than to assert his authority over the princess. She believed-quite rightly-that being insanely hot doesn't give you the right to treat people that way.
It wasn't long before the princess decided her only recourse... was war.
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