Trade

Hello.

I'm Donnie Fairbanks and my life got complicated when I tried to help a random woman I met at a club. Ok, I figured she wanted to sleep with me. And the seven figure check she gave me may have gotten my attention. But I honestly thought I was doing her a favor when I humored her about her family curse. People just don't swap bodies like that outside of bad sci fi and good porn.

Mistakes were made.

I used to be a 6'3" pile of muscle and charm with an insatiable libido and a smile that got me all the tail I could ever want. Thanks to this stupid 150 year old curse I'm stuck as a five foot nothing blonde with an overbite and boy hips. I went from standing to pee to dealing with PMS; from manspreading to getting mansplained to. Don't even get me started on periods.

According to the dickweed walking around in my body all I have to do to get my old life back is get knocked up and pass the curse onto the next generation. That's the second complication.

I met the third in a diner while I still had balls, but I didn't get to know her until after I'd lost fifteen inches. Of height, you perv.

This is the story of how I lost my manhood and found my heart. Ok, I know that sounds sappy as fuck, but it's true. It starts in a club in Boston and ends in a graveyard thunderstorm, my water broken and a gun pointed at my enormous belly. It's got old ladies and young ghosts. Finnish witches and legislative strippers. Period pals and historical societies. A baby shower that morphs into a bachelorette party and a surprise wedding. Penises will get punched.

While we're on the subject. I should probably mention the adult content. Personally I think this isn't worse than any other rom com. Aside from the swearing. And all the sex. There's a ton of both. Except when the chastity belt was in play. The term "man puddle" sounds bad. And it is, but it's not what you're thinking. Now that I think about it I don't remember Harry or Sally being naked in pentacle with a mouth full of ... On second thought this is way worse than most rom coms. If any of what I just said offends you or you're a kid avoid this book.

Otherwise, enjoy my happily ever after.

Cover art by Ryald666
Special thanks to Sally Bend